Kuiz Kelate #2

Semelekommmmmmm gu kito towhhh!

Aloh. Bui salae mmolek gak sikiiiik.

Assalamualaikum pokcik mokcik, adik kakok abe-abe semo...

Ho, gitu ehh. Kae sedak dengar tuuuh.

Yak ppagi lagi ambo dok online tenet. Baco komen-komen di blog aviasi ambo hok nyawo-nyawo ikae. Biarlah hok tu tuh. Nok wak guano. Kito bukae poklih. Moklih pong dok jugok. Rakyat biaso jah. Dan pada hari ini, ambo nok jadi cikgu. Ok murid-muriiiiiiiiiiid? Kito blaja beberapa patah perkataan Kelate ok. Sapo tokse, angkat tangan, gi tubek, gi lah nok gi main berambat duduk gak.

Minggu lepas, pembantu penulis blog ni, Toh Puan Dianne, buat Kuiz Kelate. Dio ambik dari facebook. Ambo ado jugok buat kuiz tu. Tapi ado hok tidok setuju jugok la. "Momo" tu gapo wei? Kalu benar ado pong, meme tidok beso guno. Setuju? Tajuk post kali ni ialah Kuiz Kelate. Tajuk jah kuiz, tapi ambo bui penjelasan nga jawapan skali lah. Tok payoh pertikai lagi.

Q = question A = answer C = contoh

Q: Asal perkataan ni, dari bahaso Arab. Bat'uun. Lembab ertinya. Kok bahaso Kelate?
A: Betak. Sokmo nyo diikuti "kata penguat" nya, jadi lah Betak-wak.
C: "Panah hati la aku dok maing nga oghe betak-wak lagu ni gak"

Q: Dalam perlawanan bola, oghe Kelate femes nga 'tackle' istemewa nya. Gapo?
A: Cah keting. Keting adalah bahagian depan betis anda, yang keras, but it's not a bone.
C: "Adowwwww, nate ni cah ketingg! Ref, lagu ni, penati Ref!!

*notice that 'penalti' in Kelantan is not 'penalti'. Sebut mmolek. Takdok 'L'. Penati.

Q: Gaduh, kalau bahasa baku, maksudnya berlawan. Fight. Tapi kelate, maksud gapo?
A: Oghe putih kato 'in a hurry'. Atau bahasa baku, 'nak cepat'.
C: "Gaduh nok gi lah kuano ni pokcik?"

Q: Bahaso baku kato 'kenduri'. Tapi kelate ambik dari English words, 'big work'. Gedio?
A: Bekwoh.
C: "Abe, hujung minggu ni Kak Dah bekwoh anok dio nikoh, kito gi deh abe?"

Q: Kata penguat untuk berikut? : Putih, Hitam, Pahit, Manis, Panas, Sejuk
A: Seppo, Blengit, Lleper, Nneting, Kketok, Kketar
C1: "Jauh bezo bini nombo satu nga nombo duo. Hok tu hitae blengit, hok tu putih ssepo."
C2: "Sayur peria ambo beci bena sebab pahit lleper. Woh mokte ambo suko, manis nneting!"
C3: "Aloh laaaaa guano ya panas kketok hari nih. Tapi tido malae, sejuk kketar pulok."

Hoh, bo lah dulu deh. Ambo takdok idea mano nok blogging pong. Sajo jah, lepas gian, mugo tokleh nnulis doh di blog satu lagih. Tengoklah, dengan penutupan blog hok tu, mungkin ambo buleh tumpu banyok maso lagi ssinih. Tok janji tapi gak.

Juruh telajok pong susoh jugok

Assalamualaikum, para pembaca yang budiman

Ambo baru kelik. Mari jjepung kito kali nih. Gedebar sungguh gih, sakni sapa-sapa jah di airport, 'health officials' hok check suhu ambo, nyo kato ambo tidok segar mano. Maing lagu ni parok kakloh. Kito nyo baru kelik negaro hok ado selsemo 'bo-alif-bo-yo'. Baik keno bedil jjepung daripado keno selsemo tuh.

Biar lah. Bereh doh. Sehat alhamdulillah. Tadi tu ambo letih sikit, suhu pon naik la.

Ni nok oyak cerito nyo, pasal oghe Jepung. Ambo beso dengar oghe zamae dulu-dulu dok kato, Jepung nih, bekeng! "Silap haribulae putuh ketar la ppalo mung tuhh", contoh ayat hok telingo ambo rajeng dengar. Bekeng dok? Tapi nok oyak bui ko adik kakok, loni, laing benar doh oghe Jepung nih.

Jepung ni nok oyak bui, adalah sebuoh negaro hok maju molek. Penduduk dio, buleh kato hampir 90%, saaaaaaaaaangat-sangat polite. Polite, bahaso melayu baku, gapo? Lemah-lembut? Sopan santun? Susoh nok sebut eh. Sene bahaso kelate jugok. Juruh.

Tapi gak pokcik mokcik, adik kakok, abe-abe, juruh telajok pong payoh jugok. Pelik ko? Bakpo, demo ingat, juruh ni tokleh 'extreme' ko? Haaaa, nok tahu juruh extreme gak, baco kesoh ni. Baru tejadi kemarin, maso ambo nok beli dinner di Osaka. Ambo lapar peda maso tu, jadi ambo gi di satu restoran ni soghe-soghe.

"Konnichiwaaaaaaa", ambo tegur tuan kedai. Selamat tengahari maksud nya. Sepatoh duo bahaso Jepung buleh la kito. Pahtu kecek ayae-itik laaa. Ambo order, tapau Unagi. 10 minit lepah tu, dio pong hulur Unagi ko ambo. 800 yen ambo bayar ko dio.

"Arigatogozaimastaaaaaaaaaa", ucap tuan kedai ko ambo, berterima kasih.

"Haik, arigatogozaimasssss", ambo balas, terima kasih kembali lah.

Oghe Jepung ni, pantang dengar outsiders kecek bahaso dio. Dio jjadi banggo sangat-sangat. Supo kito jugok, kalu ado matsaleh kecek kelate, excited la deh?

"Haik haik, arigato arigato!", dio balas balik, kali ni tunduk-tunduk ppalo sapa bokok blakae. Gak ambo pong mano buleh tubek lagu tu jah. Kaki dok undur doh nih, tapi keno balas 'arigato' dio jugok deh? Baru samo juruh.

"Aaarigato arigato, haikkkkk", ambo kato, tunduk-tunduk ppalo jugok la.

"Haikkkk, arigatogozaimassss", jepung tuh balas lagi, tunduk lagi.

Beraaaaaaaat. Dok maing hangguk lagu ni, tigo kali jumaat pong tok habih! Hangguk la supo pokko pong, ambo ssero Jepung ni balas balik jugok. Aloh la adik kakok weh, nyo tunduk jugok, nyo tunduk jugokkk!!

Ambo pong, oyak "Arigato, sayonara, haik", pusing blakae (bbaso dok jjalae ngundur doh eh) pah ambo tubek kedai dio slaluh.

Payoh kalu dudok juruh sangat ni adik kakok weh. Lenguh tekok doh kito dok tunduk dok hangguk. Gilo ponamo. Sapa ambo tepikir, silap-silap, ado oghe dok buat shooting candid. Hok sajo nok mmapuh oghe laing tuh. Kalu lepah ni ado show hok tunjuk mamat melayu keno mmapuh ko oghe Jepung, haaa, tau-tau la sapo dio tu....

*arigato gozaimas / arigato = terima kasih
*konnichiwa = selamat tengahari / petang
*haik = takdok maksud sangat, Jepung beso sebut sambil tunduk ppalo.
* sayonara = bye-bye

KUIZ BAHASO

hoh.. jawab2.. taken from facebook. toktau sapow buat kuiz nih tapi credit to ore tu la deh.. kalu xtau jawape silo tanyo di comments. tapi serow A pelah (plus) blakow sek2 sinnih dih? hehe

1.Perkataan "momo" selalu digunakan oleh makcik makcik di kampung. apekah makna perkataan ini?

korang

kami

kamu

saya

2.Mek Salmah: "awalnyo bangun hari ni, baru pukul 12". Mek N: "Bo bo lah nganying tu! Mace la demo bangun awal sgt!". Apakah maksud perkataan "nganying" di atas?

mempersendakan

menganjingkan

mengutuk

memerli

3." Se'e molek mung ni!" Apekah maksud perkataan "Se'e" dalam ayat ini!

Handsome

Melekit

Gemuk

Perasan

4.Berikut adalah nama nama makanan kelantan, kecuali?

Jala emas

Tahi itik

Jan Jan Jala

Lompat tikam

5.Makcik makcik di pasar Siti Khadijah akan selalu memberi diskaun kepada pelanggan pelanggan yg meng"gghori" di kedai mereka. Apakah maksud "gghori"?

Pelanggan pertama

Membawa beg tangan besar

Pelanggan terakhir

Membodek

6."Supik gelenya" bermaksud (sajo jah bagi soale senang! hehehe)

Beg Plastik

Sumpit

Minah rempit

Perempuan gedik

7.Apekah haiwan yg dipanggil "bok bong"?

Monyet

Orang utan

Musang

Babi hutan

8.Kain "seperoh" ialah satu keperluan ketika kenduri. Kain apekah ini?

Kain lap lantai

Kain lapik hidangan

Kain lap tangan

Kain pelikat buat hadiah

9.Kale ialah sejenis alat tulis. Berasal dari perkataan arab. Apekah kale'?

Pemadam

Pensel warna

Pensel

Highlighter

10.Warna "putih star" adalah warna ape?

Kuning

Biru

Ungu

Silver Metallic

11."Nok gi 'jjambe' la,tunggu smeta". Apekah maksud "jambe"?

Beli rokok

Jambori

Ambik jam

Tandas

12.Emak salim sedang membebel kepada Salim. " Ngesuk sokmo la mu nih, tok cekak nok ajar doh!". Ape maksud "ngesuk"?

Hyper

Lembab

Terakhir

Bodoh

13.Yang manakah nama buah dalam bahasa kelantan yg berasal dari bahasa arab?

Buah setto (manggis)

Buah timun cina (tembikai)

Buah kuinin (macam mempelam!)

Buah tapoh (apple)

Kartun kelate..

Assalamualaikum pokcik mokcik adik kakok abe-abe!

Guano sek kito bereh blako? Ambo dok obersi nih. Mari lah ko eropah pulok, hehe. Puah weiiii lok dok mari pat tulo. Mitok maaf bbanyok bukae ambo nok nnunjuk. Ambo tahu, oghe hok tok beso jjalae jauh, suko bena la mari sini gak. Tapi ambo bukae mari holiday adik kakok wei. Mari ttugas ni laing nok oyak bui nyoh!

Mari first few times tu suko abih tae gih. Pah gak dae nyo 14 kali dok gi mari tepat tulo gaaaaak, beruk hok dok atah jula mokte pong jjadi sakit ati! (i dont know what that means, sajo mengarut). Lepas abih ttugas, gi hotel. Pahtu kijoae begapo? Kelih telebisyeng laaaaa....

TV pulok bahaso pelik-pelik. Kito tok beso mano bahaso alik sinih. Kalu gi Ingglae takpo la, mugo kecek oghe putih sokmo. Tapi mari di Jermae gak, kecek Jermae la. Adik kakok tahu, kalu show hok oghe putih tu, abih nyo voiced-over, jjadi kecek Jermae jugok! Sakit aaatiiii laaaa. Imagine, komedi supo Friends, My Wife and Kids, pakat kecek Jermae blako. CSI pong!

Hok ambo tokleh gi skali, kartun Spongebob Squarepants. haaaa, ssini namo dio laing weh! Tahu ponamo? Spongebob Schwammkopf!!! Aloh parok sengoti dek pong. Kartun feveret ambo nyo buat kkecek Jermae. Tapi biso oghe dio buat, jjadi molek voice character sekor-sekor. Di Malaysia pon kartun ni tukar jadi kecek melayu (TV9), tapi tok panda kito buat.

Satu hari nati, mano ttahu, Kelate jjadi sebuoh negaro hok maju. Kartun, drama Korea, jjadi kecek Kelate blako. Drama asing ggapo doh hok ssoho dulu tuh? Winter Sonata? Kalu kkecek Kelate, menarik kakloh. Kartun Spongebob, confirm, ambo sanggup sponsor untuk buat kecek Kelate. Lagu tema dia bbunying gginih...

Ready dok budok-budokkkkk?

Ho laa, keptenn!

Gaaapo diiiooooo?

HO LAA, KEPTEN!

ooooooooo......

Podio dok dalae buohlanah bowoh laut?
Spongebob Sluar Kkotok!
Sene meresap bewarno kuninggg
Spongebob Sluar Kkotok!
Kalu demo suko bendo laut hok ngarut
Spongebob Sluar Kkotok!
Pah mari la pakat nnopat supo ikae
Spongebob Sluar Kkotok!

Ready?
Spongebob Sluar Kkotok,
Spongebob Sluar Kkotok,
Spongebob Sluar Kkotok,
Spongebobbbbbb Sluar Kkotokkkkkk!!!

(klik for English Version)

How to be a Malaysian road user.

SITUATION 1 :
You are about to exit the highway, and it's 6.30 pm. There is only one exit lane, and the queue is long. What do you do?

Answer
Be smart laaaaaa. Don't la queue also, those who queue are stupid. I can "potong line" apaaa. Come on laaa, the highway is wide right? Drive on using the highway lane, then at the end of the exit lane, cut in front of other cars (give signals, we're Malaysian). If the affected driver is mad at you, let him through and try to cut the driver behind him/her (again, we're Malaysian, be courteous). Lama-lama dapat la masuk. Anyhow, the driver behind you is also "potonging the line", so, lane highway yang paling kiri tu dah jadi exit lane jugak dahhh!

SITUATION 2 :
You are in a traffic jam, nearing a traffic light. The light is still green but the cars in front of you still could not get through the junction because the traffic jam is really bad. What do you do?

Answer
What stupid question is this lahh?! The situation says the light is green right? I don't know about you, but from what I learn in driving school, green means go. If I stop, other cars behind me will start honking. And if the light turns red when I'm still in the middle of the junction, well, who cares if those from other junction could not move because I'm blocking their path? Too bad la, it's traffic jam right? Green means go, but you're not going to crash into my car. Hey, see my baseball bat?!!!

SITUATION 3 :
You are driving fast on the right lane of the highway, and suddenly traffic in front of you becomes a bit slower. How do you react?

Answer
Flash the headlights, drive as close as I can to the car in front of me. I know it's not him/her who is causing the slow traffic. Must be some slower cars ahead. But do I care? No way! I pay road tax as much as you do. And at the moment, I can't see anyone driving faster than me, so I have the right to force other cars away from my lane. Note, my lane. Get what I mean?

SITUATION 4 :
You are in a hurry. All three lanes of the highway are packed with cars, buses and lorries. How do you get through the traffic in minimum time?

Answer
Actually, it's almost impossible. I was about to answer "use the emergency lane, or bus lane". But nowadays I'm not the only smart driver. Other have also evolved, becoming smart like me, so even the emergency lane must be packed. Unless, the situation described above is located in Heaven. In that case, the emergency lane should be empty for me to use. But then again, does traffic jam exists in Heaven? Oh, out of topic, sorry.

SITUATION 5 :
You and your friend are riding motorcycles. Both are riding each motorcycle alone, and you need to give him an important message. How do you communicate with him?

Answer
Very easy this one. Ride next to him, and convey the message lah. What's so weird about that? The road is wide, enough for a lorry to pass through. So two motorcycles riding side by side should be very safe. And other traffic could still use the other lane if they want to take over us. But I have heart also, I won't do this on a single lane road! That's very insonsiderate. I'm a civilised Malaysian rider lahh.

Datin mano pulokkk!!

Assalamualaikum...

Semo tahu deh, ambo sibuk lloni. Sorry tokde nok nnulih sangat lately nih. Tapi this one story I really have to write. Menarik sangat-sangat! Ambo takdok tokok tamboh gapo-gapo ok. Takdok exaggerate lasung.

Tanggal 1hb Mei 2009, masuk lah ambo di rumoh baru ambo. Happy sunggoh ambo. Letih jugok la, satu hari sutuk mengangkat barang-barang. Mujor saing ambo hok dok di kuantan mari tulong. Bini ambo tokleh nok buat kijo berat, pregnant loni. Dio duduk nga parents dio hari tu. Ambo nga saing ambo, pukol 11 malam blom abih kerja lagih.

So we decided to overnight di rumoh baru ambo. Sunyi lagi kawasae nih. Takpo lah, berdua, berani la sikit. Tilam dan toto pon di bentangkan, and ambo tido lah bersebelahan nga dio. 10 minit jah, saing ambo pong start kokok nyior doh.

Tepat 3 pagi, ambo ssedar. Celik mato, tengok-tengok SAING AMBO DOK TENGOK KO AMBO.

"Datin tanyo pasal mung", tibo-tibo dio bersuara.

Dale hati ambo, ah sudohhhhhh!! Datin mano pulok dohhhhhh!! Nate ni kalu sajo nok ggura nga aku tobak aku jek 14 das atah ppalo. Panah hati sunggoh dek pong!

"Datin begapo gakkk mung nih, heh? Mung kaba dok nih? Wengong nate ni nih"

"Datin tuan rumoh".

Raaaaaaaaaaaaa, bediri bulu romo ambo. Nate apo nyo kato beruk sekor nih?!

"Tuan rumoh mano pulok wei samad? Aku la tuan rumoh nyoh. Menate ni nih ngiga nih!"

"Yo la tapi mung tuan rumoh pong mung tidok menetap ssinih sangat lagi"

Sh****************t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t!!! The last thing you want when you only have your friend to accompany you, is when you friend becomes spooky. Ambo mitok maaf ambo nyupoh banyok, tapi that is the truth.

"Eh eh menate ni nih ngiga doh nihh. Woi samad! Bangun la. Bangun!"

Dio pong pusing badan dio, membelakangi ambo. Ambo tok puah ati, pege bahu dio, tolok tarik tolok tarik. Sapa lah dio bangun. Pah dio nok mmaroh la ambo gerok dio. Dio nyo nok tido. Ahhh, peduli apo ambo. Lepah cerito ko dio, dio buleh suko pulok! Nate sunggoh.

p/s kak azah, now u know why....i swear, this is the whole truth, no dramatization at all!

tukar profession..

Assalamualaikum pokcik mokcik, adik kakok dan abe-abe...

Ambo duduk di apartment, dalae proses nok ppindoh loni nih. Apartment hok ambo dudok ni sederhano jah. All kinds of people hok ado menetap ssinih. Tapi hok ambo sene hati nyo, abe hok dok depe umoh ambo tu, oghe kelate jugok. Bining dio pong. Sokluargo oghe kelate lah.

Kalu ambo nok gi kijo gak, sokmo selisih nga dio. Mugo dok ddepe umoh tu gak. Senyum gitu-gitu je lah. Dok pong soalae standard, "gi kijo ko, dik? lah kuano?". Ambo geli lah kalu jawab macho-macho supo "london" atau "sydney" atau "frankfurt". Ambo biaso jawab "ingglae" atau "osteroliaa" atau "lah ko eropah pulok la, abe".

Jadi nyo, minggu lepah, dio bowok mok ayoh dio mari ssinih (KL). Tuo jugok doh parents dio, ambo raso dalae 60 lebih gitu kot. Gak ambo ni pulok sibuk terbe, smeta ado, smeta takdok. Chipsmore pong tidok *keghek supo ambo. So I didn't get the chance nok berkenalan nga parents dio lah.

Tapi hari tu, kali pertamo, ambo jjupo nga mok ayoh dio. Tekeno pulok time ambo nok gi betugas, jadi ambo siap lengkap nga uniform ambo lah. Tubek-tubek umoh ambo, tengok mok ayoh dio dok ppintu umoh dio. Ambo pon tegur, salae nga pokcik mokcik tu.

Ambo mitok maaf bbanyok lah, kato "tokde nok jjupo, ni pong loghak nok hambat van dok tunggu bbowoh". Pahtu ambo pong berlalu. Ambo raso tok sapa 5 langkoh ambo jjalae, telingo ambo dengar soalae mokcik tu tanyo anok dio,

"pah dio nok gi belayar la tuh?"

Ambo ni nyo, selok nok ssuko. Aduh aduh, nyo ingat kito nok naik kapal laut. Mujo dio tok napok muko ambo maso tu, nok ssuko bedo'oh do'oh gih. Aloh laaaaah!

Ambo bukae nok kutuk pokcik mokcik tuh. Ho lah, betul doh tuh soalae dio tanyo anok dio. Mungkin anok dio tok cerito pasal ambo pong, jadi dio napok uniform ambo, yo doh la, supo kelasi kapal laut kae. Tamboh pulok, bokali zaman dio, melayu mmakai uniform gitu, kelasi kapal laut la. Mano ado sangat melayu jadi pilot.

Mokcik, somehow u made my day, for I can't stop smiling setiap kali teringat soalae innocent tuh.

*keghek - kalu nok pehe, sebut "kerap" dalae bahaso kelate.