sayang...

Assalamualaikum pokcik mokcik adik kakok abe abe....

Guano abe-abe, pakat deme bola blako ko? World Cup dekat doh. Smale pulok baru final Champions League. Tapi ambo baru kelik kijo smale, letih, jenero ghaib slaluh gih.

Kecek pasal kijo, kemarin ambo melalui peristiwa memalukan lagi. Tidok lah malu sangat, tapi ambo raso quite stupid also lah lepah tu. Untuk demo pehe cerito ni, ambo keno explain dulu lah pasal kijo ambo. Bagi demo-demo hok tok tahu lagi, ambo ni kijo pilot. Sokmo-sokmo nyo, ambo kijo gi jauh, flight 12 jam tu normal lah bagi ambo.

12 jam walapon normal, adalah satu masa yang lamo, nok oyak bui adik kakok weh. Puah bbual doh nga captain, habih topik doh, tok sapa-sapa jugok. Ngatuk mato, toksoh dok oyak lah. Meme sekso sangat ambo tokse bui mato terkatup.

Jadi, adalah menjadi tanggungjawab jugok kepada crew (steward nga stewardess), untuk menjenguk dan bertanya khabar kepada pilot, sekali sekala lah. Ni untuk keselamatan okay adik kakok, bukae nok begelenya kokse. Tanggungjawab mereka jugok lah memastikan pilot-pilot tidak dahaga atau lapar.

Biaso nyo, crew hok kijo nga ambo telipong ko ambo jah. Ado intercom lah, supaya crew tok payoh mari ddepe tempat ambo. Cukup lah sekadar bertanya khabar tanpa bersua muka (ewah ewaaahhh...)

Bilo ambo jawab panggilan dari crew, ambo akan perkenalkan diri ambo. Bukae supo jawab telipong harian demo dengan "hello" sajo. Sebabnyo dalae kapalterbe, sometimes ado sapa 15 crew bekerja. Dan semo crew pulok kalu nok berkomunikasi nga crew lain, pakai satu line telipong jah. Telipong ado banyok, tapi line ado satu jah. Bilo jawab telipong yang berbunyi, kena lah oyak namo sendiri. Contoh...

Ambo : Hello, Fariz here.
Crew : Hi Fariz, Robert Pattinson sini. Nak minum apa-apa ke?

Pehe la deh? Simple saja. Letih doh ambo nnulis, padahal nok explain procedure jawab telipong jah. Cerito nyo pendek jah. Ni baru nok start cerito ambo nih. Kemarin ambo kijo, 11 jam, dari New Zealand mari ko Malaysia kito. 4 jam selepas berlepas...."ting tonggg"... telipong berbunyi. Ambo pong jawab...

Ambo : Hi Fariz here.
Crew : Fariz, sayanggg, you ngan captain nak air tak?

Bederauuuuuuuuuuuuuuu daroh ambo dengar. Siren bomba bbunying slaluh, weee wooo weee wooo weee wooo! Hot sangat ko ambo sapa ado crew panggil sayang?? Hidung ggebah selaluh adik kakok wehhhhhhh.....

Ambo : Ermmm, milo ais dua lah. Untuk captain satu.
Crew : Okay.

'Okay' jah? Ingat ko dio nok kato 'okay sayang', haha. Tapi 5 minit selepas tu, oghe jatae (steward) hok mari hantar air ko ambo. Steward ni bersuara garau, meme bukae dio lah hok telipong tadi. Sapo la agak-agak nya bermain cikku cak nga ambo nih. Nok goda? Tak mungkin. Kalu yolo pong, thank you very mah ikae budu seko samah lah. 1 jam lepas tu, telipong lagi..

Ambo : Hi Fariz sini.
Crew : Fariz, sayang here. Ada passenger tanya kita kat atas laut mana sekarang ni?

Wee woo wee woo wee woo, siren ambulance kot bunyi, sebab ambo raso supo nok keno heart attack pulok dohhhh!! Dio bahasakan diri as 'sayang' kali niiii. Halamakkk, ade orang suda jatu cinta sama saya kaaaa??

Ambo : Lauttt? Errr, errr. Kejap ye saya check atlas.
Crew : Okay.

Sudoh doh laaaaa mapuh doh la aku keno semelih nga bining aku kalu dio tahuuuuuuuuuuu. Eh, tapi bakpo nok oyak ko bining nyoh. Senyap-senyap sudoh la deh? Tapi ni ya gelenya sangat nok blogging biar satu dunio tahu, bakpo pulok?? Ha, ni ambo berani sangat oyak ko demo ni, sebab nyo, something happen selepas mendarat, 6 jam kemudian.

Penumpang tubek blako doh. Crew-crew pong tubek doh. Drebar-drebar hok last skali tubek. Maso tubek dari pesawat, masing-masing ucap selamat tinggal dan terima kasih lah. Ambo kelih satu-satu crew, hok mano la agok-agok nyo buat ambo bedabar sangat saknih. Tapi semo muko professional jah, semo senyum supo biaso. Takdok hok kenyit mato. Tapi...tibo-tibo ambo napok name tag salah satu stewardess. Namo di name tag dio?

Dayang.

Hafiz Hashim - Kebanggaan Kelate (and Malaysia) again!

I rarely watch Badminton. But I still remember the feeling when Malaysia won Thomas Cup and we were all crazy about Rashid Sidek. I even have an autograph of him. But sadly, I don't know where I place it. 

I think I got to know Hafiz Hashim after he won All-England. I THINK. I really can't recall. I'm no longer in touch with him. Winning All England has gotten into his head so much. I'm never in favour of the Government showering too much gifts on young athletes after a big win. They are too young to handle the wealth (and fame).

But tonight I am proud to have watched him stepped up to the plate, when everything depended on him. He was Malaysia's hope tonight to move forward to semi finals. And he did it!! He looked cool. Almost ice-cold. And focused. I could see in his face how badly he wanted to win, to prove that he's still the star player that he once was, and how he tried to stay focused and gave his best. 

And you did Pih. The pandemonium that followed after your winning was magnificent. God I miss that kind of Malaysia Boleh spirit in a sporting event. Thomas Cup '92 and All England 2003 flashed through my mind. It was euphoric. I wish I was there in the indoor stadium.

I pray that Malaysia will win against China and qualify for Finals. I hope you won't screw up, because when you screw up, you screw really bad. I hope Malaysia will win the Thomas Cup again. We've waited far too long. 

Now that you're older (and I hope wiser), if we win, I hope fame, wealth and glory won't get into your head again. Because if they do, you'll mess up your beautiful master strokes. 

Congratulations! You made us Kelantanese proud of you once again! All the best for semi!  Watch out China! Malaysia mara bergaya! Malaysia Boleh!!

Mahsuri sesat di Kotaraya

Hello ore Kelate, ore Luar and sapo-sapo hok suko baco belog nih.. Rano sihat ko? Ko dok sibuk baco gosip istano blako? Kito rakyat jelata nih harap everything will be alright soonest possible. Tok payohla kito speculate gapo hok sebenarnyo berlaku kalu kito tok tau. Jange dok cayo sangat ko sokkoba tu. IB memang setia kepada Regent kitola. Meme lagu tu hok molek nyo untuk seorang Pemangku Rajo, senyak jah takdop dok kecek koksey dale sokkoba. IB yakin Regent kito will do the best for us Kelantanese. Let us all pray for things to go back to normal.

Ore-ore politik dok sibuk menangguk di air keruh jah blako. Nok ssaloh ko Tok Guru tok wi nasihat laa gapola. Gak cekak semo bendo nok oyak ko media. Media pulok tok pehe, Tok Guru kecek Kelate teruh nyo gi puta interpret lagu laing. Sebab tu Tok Guru malah nok kecek nga media. Serbo tok keno. Eh maahla IB kalu kecek pasal ore kutuk Tok Guru jjadi emo slaluh. Siyye ko Tok Guru, dio tuo doh, x brapo nok segar pulok tu. Show some respectla.

Lamo tok post gapo-gapo ssinih, sibuk nga kijo, ngaji and ggalok. Tapi sajo nok share gamba nih. Patutnyo amik gamba konsep tradisional, tapi gak termasuk dale frame bangune tengoh buat. Jadi napok supo Mahsuri sesat dale Kotaraya pulok. Ha ha. 

What do you think of this picture? =) Raso-raso bulih buat nnatu ko dop? Ngahahahaha.. Okaylah nok gi stadi pulok. Bak kata Yellow Herbie, SSPKK!! Version ore putih TTYL. Smula Smula Pulok Kito Kecek! Hahahahah... 

iyekk!

Assalamualaikum pokcik mokcik adik kakok abe abe...

Hoh, abih doh nnepik lepas kelih muko ambo? He he he, kato ddohhhh! Tu la tok dengar sangat. OK lah bo ngarut lah. Tok baik bbanggo diri hensem. Segala pujian untuk Tuhan, bukae untuk ambo. Apa pon ambo ucap terimo kasih.

Serupo jugok nga post hok sebelom nih, post hok ni pong ambo nok bui warning dulu. Jikalau post seblom ni ambo warning takut kaum hawa nnepik, kali ni ambo nok warning takut demo mutoh. Amat lah jijik, dan ambo nok cerito nga details skali. Jadi sila lah beralih ke website lain kalu demo baru lepas lunch or dinner or breakfast..

Hari tu ambo, wife and baby gi menjamu selera di restoran, pah tu gi shopping di Giant. Baru 10 minit ambo tolok trolley, tibo-tibo.... adolaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, perut ambo mmulah adik kakok weh. Ado do do do doooooo sakit sakit sakit sapa ambo teduduk. Bining ambo hok sokmo heran nga ambo ni betamboh la heran. Bokali dio pikir ambo nok reboh beleping pulok supo di klinik hari tu. Mugo muko ambo pucat kkesi gih.

Aloh la menate apo ambo telae di keda saknih eh? Aaaaa, air lado dio doh ni, sohhh doh! "Eh, emergency, i gotta go", tu jah ambo mampu oyak ko bining ambo, leaving her yet again terpinga-pinga with both trolley shopping and stroller baby. Takpo, tempat lagu ni selamat, ambo yakin.

Hungga tu gak ambo cari jambe. Jambe pulok dok hujung suk nuh. Ado 4 jambe untuk oghe jatae. Jambe hok ddepe skali takdok pitu. Perut koho mmulas nih. Dummmmm, ambo tende pitu jambe nombor duo. Kelih-kelih takdok paip. Dummmmm, tende pitu jambe nombor tigo pulok. "HOIII!", dengar oghe nnepik. Ops, ado oghe, mujo dio kunci.

Dummmmm, tende pitu jambe hok last skali. Alohhhhh, pokcik mokcik adik kakok abe abe wehhhh....setambunggggg dok nnapung gih! Perut dok mmulas, tamboh pulok sero nok mutoh pulok dohhh. Dekat dinding jambe pong ado kesan-kesan pengeboman pihak musuh. Eiiyekkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!

Ambo pong, slow-slowwwwww hulur tange, flush, pahtu segera berundur. Abih flush, baru takdok menate tuh. Tapi, ambo pikir-pikir, ishhhh, ni bukae dio nih. Tok relo ambo selesai ssinih. Hok di dinding tu ado lagi. Ending of this story? Ambo cancel shopping, balik la semo anok bining ambo di rumoh. Gege la bining amboooooooooooo.

Demo toksoh dok pikir la nasib ambo tu. Hok ambo dok pikir loni nyo, takdok pasal-pasal ambo lari gi jambe, flush jambe untuk menasio jahil, pah kelik selesai di rumoh jugok. Menate sunggoh laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!!!

Atas permintaan ramai

OK la doh demo nok sangat tengok muko ambo. Ambo warning doh, takut pakat nnepik supo penonton konsert Backstreet Boys. Kalu ado hok pitam jange dok saman ambo di mahkamoh la. Ready ko tidok ni? Kalu demo raso tok sanggup, sila lah beralih ke website lain. Sebab ambo nok tunjuk gambar ambo. Ambo bui peluang dulu ni ha.....

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Masih scrolling down nok tengok? Fine...
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Hi girls, I'm YH.